After reading all the comments, congrats on holding your ground. The only thing I don’t understand is why people thought your post was stating fact rather than your own opinion. Hopefully now people will know that.

Got a good chuckle out of the nihonjinron comment. Whether respected or not, nihonjinron is alive and well. Watch any “wide show.” Hell, watch any show. It’s there.

Re: “Japanese women often have a higher-pitched voice than Western women, and the Japanese language lends itself to this.”

Aaand cue the nihonjinron! It has nothing to do with the Japanese language and everything to do with the fact that adopting a higher pitch is somehow seen as more polite. Men do it as well as women; I have witnessed this firsthand at every job I’ve ever worked here. Compare a coworker’s normal voice to how they speak on the phone. Or just watch the news. Protip: That’s not their normal speaking voice!

Good post Neil. Looks like there’s a lot of stuff I missed before I started trolling here.

Edited the post – the only edit i did was to include 1 line to mention the article Mike from Japan is Doomed wrote, and to link to him, which i removed a while back because the thread on his site shit me off …. and the racial angle he cited.

Content – yes, without writing war and peace and actually writing it as just some random thoughts and through my eyes, which is really the only way i can write, i’ve thrown down my thoughts. I’ve missed many things and i’ve probably been judgemental in many ways …. but like i said, in the interest of keeping it to a manageable size post i wrote what i wrote.

Disclaimer – there’s merit in that but most people should realise it’s opinion and experience rather than fact that i’m writing. Everyone’s own personal experiences will be different and funnily enough the way each individual read the article was interesting too … most saw it for what it was. Those that didn’t often haven’t lived in Japan for long periods of time, haven’t worked for a Japanese company, are considerably younger than i and also don’t mix in the same circles as i do …. that of a Salary Mans existence. Life is very different in Japan depending on your situation in life.

Appreciate your comments re the “statement” … will read the article again, and make a note to make things clear.

Even more keen to read your article now mate.

Cheers.

ND

One question Neil – have you edited this post in any substantial way since you originally posted it? If you have, perhaps it would be a good idea to state that in the article?

As for the content, I feel compelled to add more to my original comment, now knowing how heated this discussion is. I am not going to backpedal – While I do think this article does give a reasonable account of Amae, I don’t think it is the be-all end-all of the topic. Everyone reading would do well to remember that this is one man’s informed post on the topic. The views admittedly are from a foreign national’s perspective, but that can actually add value to the article, rather than just detract from it. This is how one white male has percieved women in Japan – be it mistaken or not, it is the impression he got.

That said, perhaps a disclaimer might be good Neil? Your site does draw a lot of visitors and you are well networked. I would hate to see people who know nothing about Japan read too much into this post and think that Japanese women are ‘easy’ or even just plain ‘immature’. The fact is, there are cultural differences you or I as foreign nationals cannot even begin to comprehend, so we must be careful not to make sweeping generalisations.

I would urge you to make it clear in a statement on the original post that this is only your opinion and that it does not necessarily reflect the truth of Japanese society as a whole. Not everyone who passes through here understands the importance of Media Literacy and will accept things exactly as you have written them. As cliched as it sounds, we are cultural ambassadors for our countries and we have a duty to try and promote better understanding better our own country and Japan.

Interesting notes on the subject. I wrote an essay related to Amae, Honne and Tatemae last year that, once I’ve graduated this summer, I will probably publish on my website. Despite the negative and frankly disgusting comments, your article reasonably well sums up the Amae phenomenon. Not that I’m an expert but, like you, have had experience ‘in the field’ so to speak.

As for dealing with those less-than-favourable comments. Try this:

http://www.novalis.org/cgi/vowel.cgi

It’s called ‘disemvowelling’. It’s meant to be a sort of punishment to show up posters like those above, but still retain readability. You edit their post and leave it without any vowels in. I think I’ll use it myself if my journal ever becomes popular enough to need it ^^.