It’s not all semi-naked girls and food over here at neilduckett.com, i’ve learnt quite a bit in the last 2 yrs in Japan.
Something i find interesting about living in Japan is there is often a word for everything whereas in English just one word often doesn’t suffice as descriptive of the situation or topic in question. I’ll use a definition from wikipedia to assist with my example.
Aizuchi (相槌 or あいづち) is the Japanese term for frequent interjections during a conversation that indicate the listener is paying attention and understanding the speaker. Aizuchi are considered, by Japanese, reassuring to the speaker, indicating that the listener is active and involved in the discussion.
Aizuchi are frequently misinterpreted by non-native speakers as agreement on the part of the listener, because common aizuchi include:
- “hai”, “ee”, or “un” (yes, with varying degrees of formality)
- “sō desu ne” (that’s how it is, I think) This is also the name i refer to my local sushi bar by, due to Taisho’s habit of over using this phrase.
- “sō desu ka” (is that so?)
- “hontō” or “hontō ni” (truly)
- nodding
Disclaimer: The following post is based purely on MY opinions and MY observations and after discussions with others over time. Several examples i’ve used are taken from various other articles i’ve read around the internet. Everyone’s experience, based on the situation they live in Japan is different, mine is that of a mid 30’s Salary Man … earning a decent living. I don’t profess to be fluent with the pen or overly talented with skills in English. I didn’t want this post to be War and Peace and hence the comments have added extra info and discussion that may have been originally omitted. Lastly, the “Edit” that is referred to in the comments was only to point to the follow up article from Mike who had the original complaint, it’s since been removed.
It’s been a while since i’ve written about a something like this, the last time was on the subject of Honne and Tatemae.
One thing i’ve noticed since moving to Japan and something Japanese girls themselves have mentioned to me is the level of maturity, or lack thereof, in Japanese girls. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, not by any stretch, truth be known that’s actually what many Japanese men and also many Gaijin love about Japanese Girls.
The fact the Japanese have a hard and fast word for it, to me, means it’s a known behaviour and certainly a behaviour that has it’s place in Japanese society. Also firstly let me say, my thoughts on this subject have NO connection whatsoever to the 2 Japanese Friends i was out with last night should they happen to read this!
In a recent session to educate both foreigners and the locals as to some differences between Japanese and Western Cultures we were told about “Honne and Tatemae”
Honne and Tatemae are Japanese words that describe recognized social phenomena.
Honne (本音) refers to a person’s true feelings and desires. These may be contrary to what is expected by society or what is required according to one’s position and circumstances, and they are often kept hidden, except with one’s closest Friends.
Tatemae (建前), literally “façade,” is the behaviour and opinions one displays in public. Tatemae is what is expected by society and required according to one’s position and circumstances, and these may or may not match one’s honne.
So what does all this mean? It means the result of the meeting you just had isn’t necessarily what you thought. Often, especially where Gaijin are involved there’ll be a follow up “Japanese only” meeting where the true opinions of the people involved are expressed. In any case, the purpose of the meeting and it’s outcome if you thought there was one, wasn’t what you thought.
For those of us learning Japanese we can try as we might to learn the language but it’s impossible for us to confidently assert that they can fully comprehend honne and tatemae.
